I lie as you sit beside me, hearing the odd noises from outside, odd words from inside in the brink of an earthquake I find myself lie beside you. What is this exhaustion, what is this burning longing feel?

I jump into the abyss of sleep and I find myself unable to move, unable to fall, unable to see the dreams covered in blackness in the abyss. Just staring into the blackness, burning with the longing feel, just standing on air and staring.

I used to find peace in sleep, I used to see the abyss as a home, home of a forsaken person, forsaken by his star left to rot in the darkness and be one with it. Yet, now I am unable to be one with the dark, unable to find peace in the timeless abyss, instead I just stare down at it with that burning longing feel for you, breaking down the timelessness of endless abyss.Every minute that I spend in it is a torture than serenity, waste than profit and fuel for my emotions.

I open my eyes, abandon the abyss and look at you. How did I let this happen to me? How did I fall just like the others despised. I watch you from distance, with the same burning longing feel just as I was in the abyss, this time covered in fake light, able to see and move, yet the burning longing feel remains. Questions fill my head, uncertainty distorts the time I am stuck between defeat and hope with the fear of being forsaken once again but what I can do rather than accepting my fate and continuing my journey of life and love.

Maybe you watch me as I mirror my stream of emotions, maybe not…

Musa Kaan Durmuş

Dread Paradise

Since beginning of the humanity, humankind thought of only two places to go afterlife. One was said to be the paradise where everyone unconditionally happy and their joy never ends and in the other one the sinners face up to the eternal torment which is hell. Most people are satisfied with the idea of classical paradise and hell, that includes me as well but as I am wanted write my own paradise I will bestow my thoughts upon you, my dear reader.

After the judgment the people who are awarded with the paradise will be given two choices. One of the choices will be living the paradise in which they can taste the eternal joy without any boredom with their loved ones. There shall be limitless food, limitless entertainment and limitless wishes to be granted to them. The other choice is being a tormentor in the hell, the people who will choose this option will be reanimated into Dread Tormentors. Their flesh will be immune to the any harm, their blood will be converted into ice and wrath of the creator will be bestowed upon them as a tool of torment for the sinners in the hell. They will look 26 years old, their eyes will glow blue of the power inside them, their flesh will be pale as a person who has never been exposed to any light, their strength will be beyond comprehension with the other creatures and the source of their joy will be the agony of the sinners in the hell. Their paradise will be their own mind.
The hell will be filled with blue flames which will not only burn the sinners bodies but also their souls which will result in the almost obliteration of their souls. This will not only give the sinners hope of extinction but will also take it from them at the peak of obliteration. The ground will be icy and grasping, burning the sinners bodies with immense cold. The air will be icy winds which will freeze the sinners internal organs and break them inside their bodies. There will be no light in hell, the only things which will illuminate there will be the Tormentor Angels and Dread Tormentors, so that the sinners will be filled with dread before they get tormented personally. The sinners bodies will regenerate constantly but this will not be painless process for them, they will feel each cell forming in their bodies and being obliterated over and over again continuing to the eternity.
When the Dread Tormentors walk in the hell, all the angels will bow before them, the blue flames will come to life and yell out their names throughout the whole hell. As they walk, the sinners will try to hide and escape from them but the icy grip of the ground will pull them to the Dread Tormentors. When they face to the Dread Tormentors, their minds will be filled all the negative emotions possible and their dread will feed joy of the Dread Tormentors which will give them pleasure beyond comprehension that will make them hungry for more of it which will motivate them to torment more and enjoy more.