I lie as you sit beside me, hearing the odd noises from outside, odd words from inside in the brink of an earthquake I find myself lie beside you. What is this exhaustion, what is this burning longing feel?

I jump into the abyss of sleep and I find myself unable to move, unable to fall, unable to see the dreams covered in blackness in the abyss. Just staring into the blackness, burning with the longing feel, just standing on air and staring.

I used to find peace in sleep, I used to see the abyss as a home, home of a forsaken person, forsaken by his star left to rot in the darkness and be one with it. Yet, now I am unable to be one with the dark, unable to find peace in the timeless abyss, instead I just stare down at it with that burning longing feel for you, breaking down the timelessness of endless abyss.Every minute that I spend in it is a torture than serenity, waste than profit and fuel for my emotions.

I open my eyes, abandon the abyss and look at you. How did I let this happen to me? How did I fall just like the others despised. I watch you from distance, with the same burning longing feel just as I was in the abyss, this time covered in fake light, able to see and move, yet the burning longing feel remains. Questions fill my head, uncertainty distorts the time I am stuck between defeat and hope with the fear of being forsaken once again but what I can do rather than accepting my fate and continuing my journey of life and love.

Maybe you watch me as I mirror my stream of emotions, maybe not…

Musa Kaan Durmuş

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